I’m on gardening leave. Day One. Feels strange. I’m used living in small, bite-sized chunks, each activity carefully contained within the boundaries of a set start and finish time. Deviation from these gridlines heart-thumpingly stressful. Even being 30 seconds late to a Teams call and I’d be apologising profusely.

And now, Day One of No Work and No Chunks of Time.

My modus operandi when working is always to start the day with a To Do List. Today’s consisted of everything. A massive heap of the mini and maxi tasks I’ve had neither the time, nor inclination to do. In no particular order, my first non-work-related-list of Gardening Leave (not sure if this should be in CAPS but sticking with it for now) looks like this:

1. Make homemade granola
2. Soak dried fruit in Waitrose’s cheapest-of-the-cheap-brandy, ready to make the Christmas cake and pudding (I always make these in September, and I never consider their creation a chore. Although invariably they have to be done over a weekend, when I steam up every window in the kitchen for most of it).
3. The gym. Of course, the gym. 30 minutes weight training, 30 minutes swimming (I’m trying to lose weight, but I’m 52 so it’s impossible. Also I’ve pulled the calves in both legs so I can only hobble. Ridiculous and really boring and not getting any better).
4. Buy belated birthday present for lodging actor. He is a protein fiend with no money, so he buys knock-off caffeine and protein drinks from Co-Op. I have gone brand-tastic for him – Huel, Red Bull, Jimmy’s…A taste of the good stuff for a change. Not that I condone his appalling eating habits, but he’s a ‘grown-ass man’ as my son Will would say, and what he does is up to him.
5. Go and see my Dad in hospital. He’s in again with chest pains. It’s a worry. And he’s 80, so clearly has no intention of listening to, or taking, any advice.
6. Write this. Ooh, done, one down! Hang on, it’s two – I’m back from the gym! See I’m forgetting about the bite-size time bubbles already (if not the box ticking) and it’s not even lunchtime yet. #winning.

To Do list written, I feel anchored and safe. Day One of gardening leave is going well. I’m in denial that I’ve left my career, the one I’ve nurtured for 28 or so years, behind. It’ll sink in one of these days and no doubt leave me a jibbering wreck for a few hours until I emerge from the fug, get a grip and come up with a plan.

First of all though, time for a cheeky stove-top before lunch. Which is at 12, and should take me about 30 minutes, then I can soak the fruit, that’s 15 mins, then…

I sense old habits may take a while to break.